P.S.   When we see before us what is the most correct position to take in a dilemma, and we hesitate and resist doing that most correct thing for some reason, it often later becomes an obvious indication that the Spirit of the Lord is withdrawing from us.  It is called doing something begrudgingly because the price seems too steep to pay for the greatest good. 

"... not grudgingly, otherwise the abundance of the manifestations of the Spirit shall be withheld."  D&C 70:14

It is synonymous with murmuring or complaining.  It also means:  unwilling, reluctant, sullen malice, malevolence, hatred, and with discontent. This is the spirit that took over Laman and Lemuel who were commanded to help Nephi build the ship.  [Study 1 Ne 17:17, 19, 41, 44-45, 47].  This is a terrible spirit that attacks us all and if we give into it, it robs us of the Spirit of the Lord and our blessings, and begins to take us off the path of the Gospel.

"For behold, it is not counted unto him for righteousness.  For behold, if a man being evil giveth a gift, he doeth it grudgingly; wherefore it is counted unto him the same as if he had retained the gift; wherefore he is counted evil before God."  Moroni 7:7-8

When we grudgingly administer justice because of the great apparent cost, or resist practicing any of the attributes of our Father, we get weaker in His Attributes, and begin to move away from Him.  This process, if not quickly checked, is called apostasy, or moving away from the truth.  It is a vicious virus and we all must guard against it overcoming us, as a plague or a desolating scourge.

‘Dear Sisters (& Brothers), your cause is just   [your testimonies of abuse at the hands of Bro. Lynn]   but we can do nothing for you;  and if we take up for you we will be responsible for destroying the Work by casting a bad light on the "revelation" to Bro. LaMoine and then there will be no end to the mess.'   [adapted from H. C. 4:80]